The Frictionless Chair of Unnecessary Patience
A chair that removes friction from sitting while adding it to every other part of your day.
CATALOGUED · UNVERIFIED ARCHIVE / HISTORICAL RECORD
CHAPTER 01 — ORIGINSEvery great law
Every great law
starts with one man.
A questionable biography of the physicist who insisted the universe was missing something. That something was JB.
PRIMARY SOURCEKazan, Russian Empire1866 — 1932 · INSTITUTIONAL RECORD
PLATE A / 1897SECTION I · THE BEGINNING
The origins of
Jush Botin
14 OCT 1866 — 03 MAR 1932
Jush Botin was a schoolteacher-turned-physicist from Kazan who made a troubling observation: momentum seemed symmetrical, but the universe itself did not always feel fair.
In 1898, after years of margin notes simply marked “JB”, Botin formalised a principle that would change absolutely nothing about mainstream physics—and everything about the Institute’s confidence.
“Whenever something pushes or pulls on something else, it gets a JB back.”— THE INFORMAL STATEMENT
SECTION II · INVENTORY
Other bizarre creations.
The Inverse Gravitational Mug
Coffee remains in the mug. The mug does not remain where you left it.
CATALOGUED · UNVERIFIEDThe Quantum Nap Constant
A nap is both five minutes and three hours until someone asks what you did all afternoon.
CATALOGUED · UNVERIFIEDThe Official “APPROVED BY JB” Seal
A small sticker with the confidence of a peer-reviewed journal and none of the paperwork.
CATALOGUED · UNVERIFIED
OFFICIAL INSTITUTE MERCHANDISE
The seal of
absolute authority.
The Institute’s most widely circulated instrument of quality assurance. Its application is final, its criteria remain classified, and its adhesive is alarmingly strong.
1,000,000+physical stickers applied to unapproved objects nationwide.